Down... another time.
Wasnt in mood these days after that fateful incident...
Was thinking of ways to get myself back, well.. it didnt work in any way...

Knowing very well that i am having my block test all coming after today, woke up and started studying, until 5 and just sat at the sofa, simply, just shut my eyes... i just felt so alone in my container.

Last wednesday, it was the most saddest day i ever had, i treated my best buddy as a total stranger... It was the first time i felt so down because of a friend, maybe he is such a good friend that once i got impacted, it really hurt inside. actually, its kind of expected of him, knowing him for so long.

Well have been thinking deep these days. why do i even bother about others. everyone just simply cared about themselves, their own benefits, its all their own. and here i am, behaving so foolish thinking about others. i started to doubt my own belief. to treat others how i want to be treated... i got so sick thinking of these... i just felt very down, spend the whole evening at the park.. and saw this child, running towards me, and fell down while i was sitting on the other side. i hurried went forward. he was around 4 years old. and seeing him falling and still smiling, giggling... it just questioned myself. even a kid... knowing that it hurts, smiling and laughing...
How silly i am. thinking of such stuffs. the kid's parents came along, and brought him back. i just sat back and smiled at their back. for no reason, i envy that kid, but at the same time, i felt blessed by the smile of his.

Went back home, thinking what a good friend is. or rather, how best can a best friend be. What should i be doing. i dont feel myself, i dun usually behave like this. i am just empty inside these days.

I know i cannot carry on like this anymore, i got to move on. who cares if u are down. they are all running forward. as if anyone would look back and pull up. maybe i should thank that kid..

Holidays are ending. indeed time flies. time to start running agian. Cant allow such things to be obstructing me.

(How can a President behaving like this?)
Good question. i am still a human afterall.... ....




Well... many things happened, joyful ones, depressing ones... mixture of feelings here and there...
looking at the new recuited sec 1s, remind me of how i was look upon in others eyes. haha... that was 3 years ago.

Results shown, depressed over about it, its the first time i ever felt so depressed. and i was totally speechless, even when firhat and other jokers tried to tickle me, the laugh just didnt come out from the heart. Studied hard yet not producing results, guess i am being over-confident again, just like old times. Sigh, just hate this character of mine. Cant control over it totally... so sickening.

Depressed, and its time to come back. i am on the run again!

Tired, who isnt... ? good result, who dont want? Left behind, who wish to...
Come to think of it... i am very lucky, to have such friends surrounding me. or else, i guess i wont bounce back that quickly.

10 points... here i come... Dick liao, you just wait.

Shaun Kwek Seng Erng
15 years-old
13th May 1993
Taurus
shaunkse@hotmail.com
Red Swastika School
(2000~2005)
Pri. 1/1,2/5,3/5,4/5,5/9,6/9
Bartley Secondary School (2006~2009)
Sec. 1E3, 2E2, 3E1, 4E1
Student Council
National Police Cadet Corp(NPCC)

Tagboard

Links

Betharia
Chao Han
Caballa
Clarence
Eleanor
Firdaus
Foo Siong
Felicia
Fadzrul
Grace
Hip
How Kit
Joemin
Jacelyn
Katherine
Kendrick Chin
L.K.Y
Man Wai
Ryan(Shifukato)
Sze Ping
Song Ying
Siew Fong
Wendelyn
Yong Qiang

Archives

November 2007 December 2007 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 March 2009 April 2009

Music

Toshiro Masuda.mp3 -

Lyrics